Perpetual Love
by notesonlife
Summary: All year, they were denied what they most wanted in life. [NejiTen] [Seasons fics]
1. Spring

**Chapter One: Ending**

Hyuuga Hinata had simply been looking for a bracelet. The one Tenten had given her a while back, the one with the pretty charms that the older girl had given her the day she got out of the hospital back after their first Chunnin exam. She had smiled, disappointment in her eyes as she reassured the shy girl that if he were to hurt her again, that Hinata should tell her and she'll deal with it.

Tenten was a sweet girl; she had been strong yet generous, her personality battling with that of her cousin, Hyuuga Neji. But Hinata knew of the secret looks he had given her, whether it was a mere glance to be assured that she was still there, or a barely noticable lift of the lips aimed at her when he thought no one was looking.

Tenten deserved anything she wanted, and Neji deserved her.

Byakagun activated, Hinata searched through the forests, giving up sadly. She settled on walking through the cherry trees, enjoying the lasts of the short bloomed blossoms.

Hyuuga Hinata enjoyed gazing at scenery, the magic chastity of the world as a whole, and the beauty of spring. And between the pink blossoms, her eyes saw something so pure, yet so forbidden.

They sat side by side by the calm river, their feet in the water, lilies and cherry blossoms splattering over the surface. Chocolate brown hair cascaded across her shoulders, as she rested her head against his, the mix of onyx and auburn across their backs. Fingers entwined within each other, the two gazed at the pink blossoms travel through the lazy current, the woman letting out a small sigh. 

"The cherry blossoms are falling," she murmured, as Hinata watched her cuddle closer to the taller man.

"Hn..."

"It's so pretty," the woman replied, letting out a tinkly chuckle, "I wish it would last."

"I wish..." the taller man answered, leaning towards his lover, "this would last."

The two kissed gently, softly, sadly, so sadly that Hinata couldn't bear to watch. She knew of their future, they could not be, since after all, he was a Hyuuga, and she was just an average kunoichi.

Hinata turned her head back, shyly, only to see their lips part. Grief seeped through her heart at the sight of such pain that the two could not be together, before being ripped out of each other's arms.

"Neji, don't say such things," she answered softly, closing her eyes and turning her head to rest against his chest.

"Ten-" the Hyuuga stopped speaking, content in breathing in her womanly scent and holding her before he could not.

The two were silent, and Hinata gazed regretfully at them, the emotions they reserved for one another filling the air. The younger girl knew she should not be there, intruding on their precious time. The time that could not be taken back, the time that could not be replenished.

"I know..." her soft voice cut the air as she trembled against him. "I know it'll have to end."

"Don't say that... I'll make sure,"

"Neji," his name was sharp in her voice, before she softened it when he stiffened, "You know neither you nor me can change it."

The older boy was silent, holding her even tighter, before replying, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" the brown-eyed girl murmured, lifting a hand to stroke his hair.

"I'm sorry I started this in the first place, I knew that it wouldn't..."

"Neji, I would have wanted this even if my life had to end," she answered.

Hinata had never seen Neji so needy, so begging. It hurt, her heart thumped painfully at how the stoic unforgiving boy had fallen so deeply in love, only to know it will be yanked painfully out of his trembling body.

"Please..." he whispered into her hair.

"I don't want you to be sorry," she answered his plea, turning her head to brush her lips against his.

"Please forget about me."

The woman's eyes widened, as she gazed at her lover shocked. Ivory eyes gazed back regretfully as he gently untwined their fingers.

"Forget about me."

"I... I can't do that Neji..." Glistens of tears trailed down her cheeks, as Hinata felt her own waterfall push against the barriers.

"Do it for me, Tenten," he whispered, before lifting himself off his feet. He did not kiss her goodbye, but wiped the tear from his lover's chocolate orbs slowly.

"I love you, Neji," she protested softly, her hand reaching up to touch his cheek.

"Please don't say that, Tenten, it'll... it'll be harder to leave."

"I never can Neji!" her voice rose higher, "I'll do anything for you!"

"I'm sorry," he murmured one last time, "Do this for me."

She looked up into his eyes, and nodded, turning her own away from him, ashamed of the glisten of tears down her cheeks. Hinata followed, wiping at her own with the hem of her jacket. Witnessing such a pure yet heartrending sight had forced tears from her own pale, pale eyes.

The older man waited as his lover put her hair up back into the two buns, carefully placing the pins to hold it in place. He helped her up, holding her hand quite too long. Not that either of them cared for the perpetual contact to end. They gazed at each other, one last time, and they held each other just to know the other existed.

Hinata knew that she had stayed too long, and she lifted herself off her feet, only to catch a glimpse of one last kiss.

And she wished. She wished the two did not need to break; that the pure love the two had did not need to end. She wished they did not need to hide to be in love, that they did not need to mourn as they did.

She wished they could stay in love in the spring.

But like the petal pink cherry blossoms falling around them, nothing good could last.

* * *

**A/N: **Me and my angst. Neji and Tenten sure hate me for making them go through so much and so much angst. Ah well, it's fun. Please review! 


	2. Summer

**Chapter Two: Star Festival**

Tenten carefully pulled the ornaments out of her hair, letting the intricate bun fall in brown waves around her shoulder. She washed the makeup off her face, utilizing the water as a substitute for tears. She unraveled the obi around her rest and tugging off her lavender kimono, letting the expensive fabric drop in a pile on the floor. Stripping from the rest of her clothes, she slipped into an old yukata and picked up a bucket and towels.

After the most heartrending wedding on her part, Tenten needed to relax.

Wrapping a towel around her thin body, almost sickly from her lack of food, she dipped her foot into the hot baths. She sank in a moment later, letting out a relieved yet painful sigh.

It had been three months, three months since she felt his lips against her own, and Tenten had gradually, excruciatingly, gotten used to the coldness. The damp air forced distant memories to flash before her eyes.

* * *

It was a humid day, as most summer days are like in Konoha. She was exiting the Mission Headquarters after a debriefing; he was entering for his own mission. He was clad in a form fitting ANBU uniform, higher in status then her plain Jonin flak jacket. They bumped into each other, surprised on her part and pained on his. He held her forearms to keep her from falling, although both of them knew it was to have human contact, one more time. She was drowning in his ivory eyes, before wriggling free of his grasp. He instantly let go, and moved to the side to let her pass.

And she couldn't help but murmur quietly, "Good luck on your mission, Hyuuga-sama."

The rigidly formal tone she held his name caused him to stiffen, before he nodded and kept walking, the look in his eyes indescribable as he pulled the porcelain mask over his face.

And when she came home from her mission, she found an invitation on her kitchen table. An invitation to his wedding.

* * *

His wife was a pretty creature, and Tenten had found her oddly bland for Neji. Neji would be too much for the poor girl, his emotions and his feelings too intense to keep the girl sane. But the girl had beamed happily, blue eyes gazing into his ivory ones. She was from a high ranking family from a different land, and by her movements, she was not quite a ninja.

She would be his stay home wife, the one that would be waiting for him after he returned from another bloody battle, washing away his stained skin and kissing away his pain.

The wedding was elaborate. She stood in the back, watching his new wife walk down the aisle grandly, her sophisticated kimono shimmering in the blistering heat. Everyone held their breaths as the girl reached up on her tiptoes to kiss her new husband, but Tenten had looked away and exited. Her arm was caught by the Sand ninja, Sabaku no Kankuro, who futilely tried to sympathize. The auburn haired boy settled on asking to accompany her to the Star Festival later that night, a festival for the new Hyuuga couple and for the star-crossed lovers of Chinese legend. And the brown-eyed woman could do nothing else but smile and nod.

* * *

She soaked comfortably in the water, trying to push away the thoughts. Suddenly the door slid open, as five giggly girls walked in. They didn't notice her presence, much to Tenten's relief. She knew it was time for her to leave. She lifted herself up from the water, slipping out of the hot baths before any of them noticed she was there and had left.

She pulled on a pretty tailored kimono, pink in color with cherry blossom flowers stitched on. It wasn't one of formal wearing, opening at mid-thigh. Tenten knew she no longer could keep wishing, wishing that the old days could return. She wore a lace holster around her thigh where she kept a few slim senbon just in case, her hair returning to the two buns, held up as it usually was with pins and laced with invisible senbon.

He had picked her up in a dashing yukata, abandoning the Kabuki makeup. Tenten held his arm as a couple would, and the two walked into the bright lights of the festival. They saw a booth, the red paper sitting on the wooden table. She had smiled, pulling one of the red papers out as Kankuro paid for it, writing in graceful calligraphy that awed even the master puppeteer.

'Let them both find love and happiness together, the way I once did.'

And she wasn't particularly thinking about herself; she knew that her love for Neji could never be. She wished for him and his new wife to find happiness, she wished for him to follow what he said and forget about her, because she knew of those nights. Those dark moonless nights when he would come, and he would watch her and although it hurt on both sides for him to come, he still did.

And even the puppeteer could feel how much she was in love with the Hyuuga, and he felt oddly jealous. Her thin fingers carefully wrapped the red paper around the bamboo tree; he could tell her weak frame was due to the bastard, the bastard that hurt her. And he led her away, pulling her away before she could see his ivory eyes stare at her and the red paper on the bamboo.

* * *

And he had to leave her side, forced to perform a play for the little children due to their puppeteer falling ill. She had smiled and chuckled as she urged him to go, that she was fine, and she'll catch up with him later, before waving softly and kept walking, walking away. And Kankuro knew that he could never replace Neji in her heart, he could never be the one she smiled so happily to or the one that could make her cry the way she did.

* * *

Her arm was tugged into a gap between two booths in the darker part of the festival, one of her wrists clasped over her head and the other at her waist roughly. She stared into ivory eyes, and the crash of waves behind her eyes threatened to open. He had held her hard and aggressively, never like the way he used to hold her - like something too valuable and too fragile. But this time he didn't care to break her, because he was already broken. He had read her wish, he had known how she wanted him to be happy, she wanted him to be happy more than she wanted herself to be. But he couldn't be happy, he couldn't without her.

"What does he mean to you?" he spat out angrily, pushing against her furiously to keep her from running away.

"What?" she looked up at him with wide chocolate eyes, her body too thin and sickly to be healthy. She hadn't been eating, she was getting weak, and he didn't like it. He hated it.

"The bastard, what is he to you?"

Her voice turned icy at the insult, "It's none of your business," she had retorted, much to his anger. "My life no longer concerns you."

"Your life is my own," he replied before he could think, pressing his lips against hers forcefully. The emotions held inside flooding through them, burning their skin as he let go of her wrists and held her closer. Her scent, her body, he was drowning in everything about her. He didn't care about anything except her, he didn't care that he was newly married, that he had duties as a Hyuuga, that he was going against his wife he had just kissed a few hours ago.

She had slapped him.

"You're married, you can't do this anymore," she murmured, trembling.

"I don't care," he answered, before pressing into her again. He needed her, even if it was wrong. And she needed it too, and he had to fulfill both of their subconscious wishes.

A shriek was heard, and they were caught.

* * *

**A/N: **The Star Festival is a real festival in Japan about two star-crossed lovers derived from the Chinese legend. Thank you Wikipedia. 


	3. Fall

**Chapter Three: ****Night**

Tenten sighed; the leaves of autumn rustled in the night air and the wind blowing against her covers. Her mind drifted to the Hyuuga Branch leader, his ivory eyes burned in her mind.

The time they were caught three months ago by none other than Neji's wife had broken the poor girl's heart. She had shrieked and fainted, forcing Neji to carry her to the hospital, leaving her alone. They were called down to the Hokage a few days later, and before the weapon specialist could speak, Neji had taken full blame. He had pushed himself against Tenten; he had forced her for his own needs, and he was deeply regretful for his irresponsibility. Tsunade-sama could do nothing else but order him to never speak, nor touch her anymore. Neji had taken it as gracefully as anyone could; he had bowed and exited, not even looking at his lover. Tenten had watched him leave, before Tsunade let out a painful sigh and murmured, "I'm sorry, Tenten. I could not do anything but."

Then, she was viewed in the eyes of the village as a poor victim, and Neji as an irresponsible bastard, most of them not even remotely aware of what they once had. His wife had forgiven him quite soon, naively thinking he was just drunk and seducing any woman on the street, unaware that the Hyuuga was completely sober.

* * *

And he still came, when he could not. 

She sat up, gazing out the window.

"If you tell me to forget about you, then why don't you do the same?" she asked to no one in particular. "Stop hiding, it's no use."

He revealed himself, his white eyes boring into her soul.

"Stop coming," she murmured, hugging her knees and not looking at him. He sat on her windowsill, not answering. He wasn't breaking any rules, he wasn't speaking nor was he holding her. He was just watching her, but she couldn't watch him. To look at him would break the barrier she had been rebuilding behind her eyes.

Childhood memories flashed back, back to the days when they didn't worry about their future.

* * *

_She trained with him the moment she realized Lee was an annoyance and a waste of her time. Neji's cool exterior was hard to break, it rarely did, but at those times she saw his real self. Around there was the time she fell in love with the Hyuuga prodigy, but doubted whether he would like an average girl like her._

_She had found out that he was half dead on a sudden rescue mission she was never told about, rushing to the hospital to find his sleeping weak body. She had cried, the first time in a long while. Tenten slept in a chair by his side, looking quite haggard when he woke her up gently. It was the first time he had actually smiled and told her he was glad she was with him.

* * *

_

He kept watching her, and she hugged her knees tighter.

"Why did this happen?" she murmured, more to herself than to him. He did not move from his spot at the windowsill, doing nothing but watch her.

* * *

_She remembered the first time he kissed her. It was a fall day that seemed so many years ago although it was only one. She was playing in the leaves, cutting up them up playfully into smaller pieces, the crunching sound of them beneath her feet. She threw some in the air, throwing slim senbon and pinning each leaf to the trees surrounding her. She ended her day by jumping into a pile of leaves, only to emerge and find Neji. She frowned, almost ashamed that Neji found her. He had told her to look up, and she did, only to find his ivory eyes gazing down. Falling back into the leaves, she blushed, before he helped her up, and pressed their lips together.

* * *

_

He whispered those taboo words she didn't want to hear, as she held back from echoing them. She stood up, raveling her hair back up into those twin buns, before casually asking him how it looked. He didn't answer, as she turned back around to look at him, biting her lower lip angrily.

"You shouldn't be here. Especially since your wife is expecting."

He blinked, not expecting she knew.

* * *

She had run into his wife in the market. Startled, the blushing girl retrieved her stuff, recognizing Tenten has the victim of her husband. Tenten had helped, and in the awkward silence, blurted out that she was sorry it all happened, and how Neji was a good man and it was a whole misunderstanding. 

His wife and nodded politely, not believing Tenten's words as she commented that she had forgiven Neji, and he had made it up to her. She patted her stomach proudly, emphasizing the slight bulge Tenten didn't notice at first.

The weapon kunoichi plastered a smile on her face, congratulating the young wife, and that she was quite lucky to give birth to a future clan leader. The younger girl beamed, her past hatred for the kunoichi melting away as if it was never there, as she invited Tenten over for some tea.

* * *

"Our clan pities you." 

Tenten pulled out a few shiny senbon from their casings, "So they know?"

"They've always known, and they've always pitied you."

"What good does pity do?" Tenten snapped, her movements rigid.

Pity never helped her before, and she never expected it to in the first place. His wife was a pretty girl, sweet and oblivious to the evils of the world, blissfully ignorant of the political power her marriage with Neji was. She was young and too naïve for a ninja like Neji, but she could do him some good.

"Tenten."

"What?"

"Look at me."

Tenten's shoulders dropped, as she turned to gaze into the impassive white eyes. His eyes seemed hollow, deep and full of nothing.

She sighed, as he stood from his spot on the windowsill. He walked towards her, and she stood still as he gently took the senbon gripped in her fingers before placing it on the desk. He unraveled the buns in her hair, letting her chocolate brown tresses tumble down in waves. He stepped back to look at her.

"Do you love her?" she asked quietly, her eyes unable to tear from his own.

"No."

Waves of passion mixed with anger passed through her, and on impulse, her hand struck his face.

"How dare you..." she spat, her words thick with pain. "You are her world, she would give anything for you, and you don't even hesitate with that question!"

He did not answer, not facing her as the red mark stung on his pale cheek. Sleek salty trails ran down her cheeks as she trembled.

"I treat her fairly, I give her what she and my clan asks for, but nothing else. I gave her a child when she wanted one, but I did not give her a child because I want one."

Tenten backed away, wiping furiously at her tears as the feeling in her throat pushed up, threatening to explode.

"Neji..."

"But I'll do anything to make you smile, one time for me."

She had never expected Neji to speak such words, words he never uttered in their childhood days. He never spoke with so much passion, with so much sad want it pulled at her heart strings.

She whispered his name one last time before her voice vanished, and so did he.

* * *

** A/N: -**Dies in angst- 


	4. Winter

**Chapter Four: Goodbye**

There was snow covering the village like a blanket, pure white reflecting the sun's rays making it glisten. The purity of the landscape was so different from the pain that was present.

A solemn parade watched on, clad in black, as the slate was placed upon the grave, chipped engravings read:

_Rest in Peace.  
A friend.  
A wife.  
_There was the faint sobbing of the girl's mother and sister, as many watched on, dry eyes and chilling. Jackets wrapped around their bodies tightly, scarves covering necks and chins burying into their respective coats. It was a frigid morning, the death was late in the afternoon of the previous day, wind blew snow up from the dunes to splatter among the grieving faces.

The reception dragged on, as they suffered from the cold weather, the blistering wind, and the traumatizing death.

And her husband, watched, eyes dry and mouth frowning, the only grief he allowed himself to feel through the deep downwards curl of his lips. His wife had died in childbirth, a child she had desperately wanted.

A child to prove that she was his wife, not some other girl.

And the other girl stood a distance off, face hidden under a black overcoat, eyes downcast into the snow.

She left early.

* * *

Tenten stared into the pale sky, the brush of snow against her rosy cheeks. The navy scarf – she didn't have a black one – covered a bare neck, gloved hands rubbing against each other's clothed fingers. The wife of the man she loved had just died. 

And honestly, she wasn't excited, or relieved, or even remotely happy.

The woman was pleasant, a cheerful pretty girl that did not deserve her fate. She did not deserve to be in the painful triangle formed between them. She had pushed herself in giving her husband the one thing she could – a child. And she could not deliver her one dream to the man she was horribly in love with.

She had died late in the afternoon, at approximately 3 p.m. when the child miscarried.

Tenten let out a soft sigh, wetting her chapped lips and pulling the coat tighter around her thin frame. 

The soft crush of snow behind her caused her eyes to close and her heart to crash harder then it already had.

* * *

"Neji, no." 

He did not respond, and the crush of snow did not continue. Quickly, Tenten kept walking, and suddenly she spun around, her hand out. It hit against his chest, and he stopped.

"Don't come any closer," she muttered quickly, the two an arms length away.

"Tenten..."

"No. I'm... I'm not going to start anything. We're... not going to do anything," she interrupted, voice tight. The two stood in silence, and her heart was tearing. She forced herself not to cry, not to soothe the knots in her neck, not to kiss him.

Tenten pulled her hand away and he suddenly grabbed it, pulling her back towards him. Without accord, she was against him, euphoria filling her mind, her body, warmth in her mouth. The world was suddenly not so cold, it seemed close to perfect.

She pulled away, gasping for breath.

"Marry me," he whispered, strands of dark hair sticking against her cheeks.

"I... can't."

His breath nuzzled her neck from underneath the folds of her scarf, tickling her.

"I'm... I'm transferring... to Suna," she breathed, closing her eyes. He did not respond, and cold air filled the bare neck where his lips once were.

"Suna... Suna is short of shinobi... and I was given the chance to transfer. I won't be back in a while," she stepped back, out of his arms and ready to step out of his life.

His eyes looked distant as he gazed at her, at how his life was crumbling faster and faster around him. Her cheeks glisten with the formed tears, and she murmured, "I'm sorry, Neji."

"Your apology means nothing," he whispered, the deadpan mask covering his emotions, fists clenched.

"Next time... when I come back..."

"You won't come back."

"I will," her words were an empty promise. "I'll give you my answer next time."

And they both knew that there wouldn't be a next time. They both knew of the puppeteer in the Village of the Sand Tenten was seeing, they both knew of the marriage that would be arranged again for Neji. They both knew that the next time was fake, an excuse for abandoning their hearts to live without each other. Next time, they would meet as strangers, or even as enemies. They both would have separate children, and they would not recognize each other anymore.

Her gloved fingers ran over his chest one more time, before she closed her eyes and allowed him to kiss her for the final time.

Because true love is perpetual, and will last, even if it cannot bloom in this lifetime. Their love can one day, in another time and place, finally be fulfilled.

She whispered goodbye, and winter formed around them, covering them in the snow dust.

* * *

**A/N: **Well... that's the end to it. I know the end is crappy... and I rushed like hell was after me, but oh well. Finally, I finished a story! Already got a new story planned, and its deff longer. Here's a sneak peek... 

**_Tenten used to dream of him. But dreams never come true, and the dreams had finally stopped. Neji had finally come, but she couldn't go back to dreaming._ **


End file.
